I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
