Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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