ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
