So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
