so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
