somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
