Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize