I'm so fucking centered right now
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
