He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just found puke in my bra..
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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