ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
