CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
