Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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