But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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