my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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