She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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