The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
