I can tuck mytits in my pants
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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