i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
