My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
