guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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