We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
