I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
