Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I need to align my fucking chakras
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize