oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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