We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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