$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
