I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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