weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
