apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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