after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize