Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Is Oprah even human
Never let your siblings swipe right.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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