This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
