u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
