I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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