So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
