I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
