so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
