He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
