White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
50% drunk capacity currently
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
