Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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