just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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