i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
