Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
