no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Princesses don't give blow jobs
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
