is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
