I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
