Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
