I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Who died my cat blue again?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
