is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
