she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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