I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
