why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
