Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Randomize
