he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize