Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
