We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
