I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i barfeds in our rink
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
