In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
