Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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