3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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