weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Bring me that man meat
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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