So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
drinking out of a sandbucket again
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
This baby is an asshole
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
