my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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