May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
