Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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