so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
